She Speaks

Trembling in a corner, the room is enveloped in darkness with the spotlight on red. Quivering forward, she steps into the light and clears her throat. She wonders if what she will say will be heard through the black of the space. She thinks she hears crickets giving their salute to the night, but instead she is hearing the rapidity of her trembling. She recites what is innate and gives her all to the audience she cannot see. The spotlight is hers but can those who hear her see her? She begins again. The first recitation was a mere rehearsal of inner thought. She speaks. Not sure what is flowing out of her she begins to feel the weight fall off as if she is released from the tension of the strings that bind her. She turns, focuses her attention to all sides of the room, hoping her frail voice will echo off the walls and back into her where those thoughts and feelings are safe. She second guesses herself when she hears no response, but realizes that she is still showing the room her skill through her performed prose. When she has finished there is silence again. No snaps, no applause, no approval, no rejection, no thrown off stage, just her, the spotlight, and the corner from which she orates. All the while trembling, but now, feeling a stillness inside. When the heart speaks, it expresses to manifest feeling into reality for itself and no one else.

Excavating --> Exposure

Dig. Dig Deep. Dig Deeper.

Picking up the shovel, which for some may be the most daunting task, is the first step. Clearing your schedule and making nothing know and disappearing into stillness is what you need next. Using the tools that God has given increase the speed at which you discover, but does not change the fragility that lies beneath.

Is this adventure unexplored? Have you started to uncover yourself and just when you see 'you' peeking out of the next layer of dirt, called away to accomplish another task in life? Did you begin to see what is hidden and complex, only to find that you were not ready to see the rest? Ask.

Discover that within yourself has shaped and defined who you are reflecting at yourself each morning. Find that comfort in seeing yourself clearly in and out of reality, with or without stability, having and not having comfort, feeling or not feeling love, learning or not learning truth.

You are perfect just the way you are. There is no need to change or alter your state. That is not your mandate. The you that you are supposed to be is ready. You have to be ready to be informed, ready to be great, ready to feel pain and love and happiness all at the same time. Ready indeed does mean willing, and willing to want to be you is your destiny.

If you are not ready for your destiny, realize that you are looking at a fertile pasture of untouched soil. Rich with longing for seeds of interest that bear fruit of awareness and healing.

So I charge you to dig, dig deep, dig deeper. Keep going and as the sweat rolls down your brow, keep thinking "I'm willing to meet my destiny because I'm ready to keep digging."

Perception is Everything, Perspective is Yours

A wise amigo once told me, "perceived loss is merely the precursor to victory..." Let's take a moment and unpack this shall we?

To lose something, whether beloved, unattached or unwanted is to experience its absence. This explanation shows that it once filled a space that was open and ready. When you do not have space to fill there is no need or want. A perception of loss is determined by the realization of that reality in real life. Do you see this? Do you feel this?

There are moments in life where you feel you have given your all, and at times more than you should or more than you, in actuality, knew you were capable of giving. Categorize these things. Make real what your actions have indicated to you and to the beloved, unattached, or unwanted.

In sports play, there are times where the player seems to have given out physically from our perspective, however, it is their perception "I'm not done yet" "WE haven't won yet" that drives the mind to drive the body to the finish. Energy that comes from the mind telling the body what to do can only do this if the heart is truly in control. Let your heart win. Listen. Develop the perspective to drive others perceptions (yours too) to a level of endurance, push and victory.

Victory - not winning, but overcoming an obstacle or enemy, says Webster. This obstacle or enemy it seems, is only through perception. It becomes an obstacle when you can overcome it, an enemy if you have to fight yourself to get past it. What pushes against us or helps us push against ourselves always ends in victory. Always.

Results are often two fold. One can be victorious in finding what those very opposing forces are, and molding our perception to gain perspective and strengthen our inner motivation and convictions and decisions to push back and push away. Another can be pushing against ourselves, finding the will to want to become one who makes their perspective that of self control and self regulation that molds self improvement, and their perception of that loss in any form is inevitable and indeed anyway, brings victory.

You don't fail because you lose, you win. Because in losing, your perception changes. That change in perception just may be what you need to bring a positive perspective to your situation and how others perceive you.

Ladies and Gentleman, Lend Me Your Ears....

Eyes picking up on images on pages, lips and tongues directing speech where the mind has pursued.

We are living in a time where digits get cardio and the heart gets the couch.

Learning to listen to the beneficial and incline towards nature and the signs showed us has become foreign. How sad.

Buds from iPods make the mind shuffle to the next randomized playlist. The list is playing you for your experience in life. Press pause.

Observe the sun as it rises on the horizon that raises your level of consciousness.
Appreciate the nature of the Creator. Listen.

Nouns that make up the vibe we call life have not made an impact from electronics. Interaction and feeding breeds growth. The most basic infantile need is touch. Not iTouch, but touch.

Should we cease to reconnect in person, in hearing, live and on stage, we risk the essence of humanity. Closeness.

Facebook-ing became the new 'friend' and our networks have expanded beyond control. Step Back. Bring in the reigns and be sure to feed the relationships that mutually matter.

Listen to yourself, listen to what is around you, be open to listening, and just....Listen.

There's an app for that! ...Right?

Shining brightly, the circle in the sky warms my cold feet. Too cold, too cold, is what those in black and old gold say, but this cold is repairable only by waiting. Watching nature watch me leaves me mesmerized and wanting more. Flying by the fall hued backdrop of travel, grumbling through back streets and alleyways - my mind is lost in mismatched thought.

Coming and going are the same at times, looking forward to the brick wall presented in front of me. Do I climb it, bust through it, build a house next to it, coat it with beautifully painted remnants of love, turn my back to it and walk away, walk along the wall until it ends and I forget where I am going, use it as endless paper and write my innermost desires and wishes, hopes and fears? Pretend it is not there?

At times healing means erasing, but most times it involves suppression. The enveloping and storage of delicate memories, feelings, experiences can make profound difference within and indifference without. Joining the inner with the outer while valuing the balance and importance of both is taxing on the body and the mind. The heart however, as delicate and strong as we make it, can at times: have all control - provide limitations - give jurisdiction - provide insight - and reveal what was thought to be hidden or forgotten.

Maybe healing isn't an option...maybe all that exists or is absent from us regarding love and our capacity or inability to do so makes us who we are. We shouldn't resolve to missing out on the joy of life, the joy of connections that run deeper than deep and are closer than close, the joy of love that is both genuine and true, the joy of loss and heartbreak that brings solace in knowing that you cannot control anything or anyone but yourself...

There is no 'app' for that, no app for life, for love, for healing, for direction, for change, for growth. We must APPly ourselves instead to reflection and be active in what happens to us, in order to improve our connections and interactions with the world and people around us in a positive way.

Doin....doin....

Stretching past your limits makes you stronger. Only when done with caution... Injuries are not welcome here.

Thinking past the vibes of life have brought me peace with my current existence. Aiming to breathe in and connect with each fleeting passage of CO2 bringing in the "O" giving to my blood, release and energy.

I tried to think in the dark once, however, my thoughts escaped because I did not record them. It is a wonderful experience to replay your thoughts aloud when no one is listening and when you are in the absence of light, enveloped in darkness. Feeling, experiencing, pushing through, keeping your aim as experience rather than end result will engage you in a trust. Breaking limits that could have otherwise been beyond your reach.

Awareness. Education. Growth.

Living in the moment, learning from your past mistakes and taking in the current events around you to inform your next move (pending their agreement with your consciousness)...and then moving, growing, becoming someone new.

Everything you see or do you are doing for the first time...you are not the same now as you were two letters ago, two seconds ago, two years ago. Embrace each new experience as it is because you are you, newer than ever, at this very moment, right now.

Eid-ing and Cleaning

There are times in life where you feel refreshed, renewed, and rejuven-ne-nated! Take full advantage. Times that give sustenance when you thought you had none, advice when you thought you didn't need none, solace when your heart was quivering and unsure what to do. Even deprived times of light and reflection guide you towards knowing that only you have the answer; that you must act to accomplish and make use of voice to proceed.

These are the times.

Pushing forward, celebrating daytime eating (Happy Eid Ya'll)...and at that very same time, looking back to see what progress has shaped the person you are today. Sankofa.

Watching flight from being stopped in traffic, I am in awe of the patterns the winged ones make. So telling of how life reflects nature and nature reflects life and how creation....manifests the magnificent power of The Creator. First, three groups in their own unison, all noting the slightest change in direction and following suit. They are united in direction but still having enough space to spread their wings, still individual, still having the freedom to be in their own beauty. Then, the three groups catch the same flow of wind, mindset, guidance, feeling, inclination, and become one. Soaring...musically, almost, changing directions with the flow of notes played at the keys that have provided the foundation for this naturistic symphony.

Knowing flight is one thing, but witnessing it with open eyes, heart, mind, soul and being present, makes all the difference.

So yeah, now to cleaning house....

Things are as they were. Slight changes but the cusp never moves. However... It Is Time to renew, to sort and rid of the nonuseful. From the bottom up and back down I want answers and/or closure to things buried and packed away. Clarity from boxes and uncovered things, and space in my mind to make room for what is to come.

Has anybody seen my Swiffer?! :)