Unpleasant (making it minus the 'un')

It is not male or female, nor man or woman. It does not discriminate and can come at any age or state. Hurt.

There are times in our lives where we are hurt by others, ourselves, inward and outward, deserving and undeserving, inevitably unavoidable. It is written, "makhtub" for hurt to come and change us, to bind us, to break us, to mend and heal us, to free us from fear, it has a purpose and we must over come it.

Life contains expected and unexpected challenges. Those that we plan for and those that take us by surprise. The problem lies, when we become stuck in our state of sadness or pain so much so, that it stunts our growth. The venom of revenge boils in us and proves to be and additional parasite that eats at our happiness.

From this, we must look forward. Fulfilling our next dream, destiny, step and success...we must prove to ourselves that we can build and move upward. We must realize that time heals all things. To keep from sounding optimistic, I will say that the light at the end of the tunnel is not always visible, depending on how deep the hurt is for you. You must convince yourself, however, that there is a light, a Divine light that is urging you to come to greatness, to succeed.

If you are the helper to the hurting, a few tips:

*Be Private!!!! - Don't go running and telling Any One's business. PERIOD.

*Be Sincere - If you can help, help. If not, then say something encouraging and move on. No one hurting needs pity, they need support.

*Be Honest - Giving your honest opinion of the situation (emphasis on you saying 'your opinion') is key.

*Encourage Reflection - Ask the person to recount the story of hurt and let the person process their feelings about the situation and the actions contained. Don't press for information that you don't need (i.e. - names, location, familial ties...)

*Validate - Let the person know that you acknowledge their feelings. Many times, we disregard the hurt of someone we may see as very strong. So comfort and validate, all things can happen to anyone.

I could go on forever, but be a friend, encourage the person to live in the moment and in the present and to reflect on the lessons that can be learned and looked forward to.

Here are some quotes from a blog I frequent. I pray that may also touch some of you out there who are hurting or helping the hurt. Blog Address - http://lessonsoftheday.blogspot.com/

"The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. Hurt is a fact of life. until we accept and allow the hurt as inevitable, we cannot begin to deal more effectively with the hurts of life. As human beings, we will hurt and be hurt. None of us is invulnerable. Not only do circumstances upset us, but we hurt each other, not necessarily intentionally or maliciously. We disappoint, criticize, oppose, anger, injure, and withhold from one another all the time.

"Because we refuse to accept and include hurt and the suffering that may follow as an inevitable aspect of human experience, hurt takes us by surprise and we never learn effective ways to deal with it. It is not wrong to hurt, but it is tragic that we let our reactions to hurt and our fear of hurt run our lives." [Judy Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

"We hold hurt as wrong. We think that hurt should simply not happen to us. We imagine if we were good enough or mature enough or strong enough, we would not hurt. Longing to be superhuman-----not human-----we deny the inevitability of hurting and being hurt. As a result we are outraged and often overwhelmed when we are hurt or disappointed.

"If we only accepted that hurts happen, we would be much more effective in dealing with them. Then we could freely admit to inflicting or feeling hurt. With such a consciousness, we could simply recoil momentarily from pain and not feel damaged by every hurtful event in our lives. We would certainly be freer to forgive and forget, the most powerful way we can overcome hurt." [Judy Tatelbaum, You Don't Have to Suffer]

Sin Sonido (Without Sound)

The very questions that we desire to answer or have answered can be inaccessible and un-figure-out-able, we must persevere. Delving into our own roots and dirt we must strive to build a knowledge base that can provide us with the 'know' how and come to correct conclusions.

The absence of silence in the city is making me crazy. I've clung to the familial, social and religious aspects to feed my insanity, but at times the silence is never enough to quench my thought-filled thirst. I then ask, from what others have already stated, why is it that I feel so alone in a city, in a place, where so many people occupy every single nook and cranny?! I am unable to cozy next to a tree of my own, due to the surplus of others who wish to enjoy the limited green afforded to us in this concrete jungle.

Caged birds forget how to fly. A singer in a room of loud music forgets her sound. Running in place is void of scenery and inevitably, moving forward.

Do not be afraid of the silence. Your thoughts wish to be loud and clear and HEARD. Gravitating to your dreams and facilitating goals that are clearly labeled and organized are your 'All Access' pass to happiness.

How do you know what you want unless you ask? How do you ask if you do not have time? How do you make time when you have so many other things to do? How do you do what you need to do, in order to make time? Now what? ...make time.

Persistence in all things linked with our Creator never fail. Goodness wins, always. Intention is key. We were not created to wait for things to happen. We were given intellect and consciousness which lead us into knowledge and light. The light of space and time to reflect. These reflections make for very clear plans of our future.

We listen to the cries of a child across the room, restaurant, street or train. We do not understand his/her feelings, wants or needs. It takes a personal connection of a parent or close one to really know. How do we then, expect to know our own needs if we do not even know ourselves?

Get to know that child, that inner being, your thoughts, dreams, goals, desires, wants, needs, fears...know them so you can respond to them, react properly to them, and plan for when your most wanted and desired things (of this life and the next) manifest themselves and penetrate your thoughts as reality.
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Fantasia

Hay un mundo de fantasia. The hold is muy fuerte. Pero.... Pues.... Podrias sobrevivir.

A world full of fantasy can cripple you if you let it. A friend once questioned aloud, "Does life imitate art or does art imitate life?" Well, what do you think? (This is a rhetorical question I might add)...

We are given reality mixed with fantasy every day. Love, Grief, Life, Death, Happiness, Struggle, and Triumph. It is up to us to decide what we take into our unconscious and what we leave to fly away into the world of fantasia.

Of course I've had my share of falls into the fantasy world, some hold on to me tighter than others...

Leaving behind a world of brutal criticism and unbelievable competition is a treat. Absorption in a song (Mo Better by Raheem DeVaughn), a book(s) (Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer), a movie (The Shawshank Redemption), a website (Zen Habits - Leo Babauta), in nature (Caumsett Park, LI), and of course, the constant streaming of your thoughts...can be, a wonderful "stay-cation" (lol).

Making decisions that go against the nature of Divine Decision is not the smartest thing to do in reality. Swimming in thoughts of fantasy or non-reality can influence you into wanting what you think you need, versus inquiring and striving with The Creator to make your plans. After all, wouldn't you consult your Guide before walking off the path? ...yes.

We waste so much time projecting our thoughts on what could be (future) that we totally miss...Totally...TOTALLY....MISS, what our today can bring us. If we spent more time watching the details and paying attention to the scenes, act by act for signs that show us what is to come, we'd be better off, better informed, and better PREPARED.

I mean seriously, how many times do we watch a movie more than once, only to find that we've missed intricate details that could have given us clues into what is next, or helped us to see more details and make more sense of what is happening? How much better off would we be using the reality of "paying attention to detail" to actually watch "art imitate life" or "life imitate art"...

I'll let you ponder on that, meanwhile, I'm going back to paying attention to the details that will inform my next move.

*The pic above is from Forks, WA (...yeah.)
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Familia

Family comes from the heart, from home, through religion, at work, in passing, and in the mind.

I find family in the most unlikeliest of places. Life has its changes and its benefits, challenges too. Family comes in and out of your life to give you what you need, exactly when you need it (also called Divine Intervention).

The key to maintaining this 'family' of many forms calls each of us to trust and respect. The stranger who alerts you so you do not forget your bag or umbrella -- there was an element of trust there. Someone who asks you what you need when you leave for your break -- caring. The disagreement over responsibilities and expectations -- honesty. Giving an honest opinion about someone's character or conduct -- transparency.

Every familial relationship is a delicate balance that requires give and take. There is no "I" in family (the "i" in family really means 'important')... :)

There are some friends in my life whom I've known for years and although we may have spent many many hours, days, etc. together, the ties still remain despite distance or frequency of conversation. These ties are a bond that does not require micromanaging, but instead, flourishes as a tree, needing only sunshine (phone calls, letters) and water (memories of days past). Have you watered your 'family tree' lately?

All this to say, treasure those relationships you have built, and don't waste so much time counting the rings on the tree (you did this then, where where you when...) but instead, inquire about how their leaves (emotions) roots (goals and aspirations) trunks (spiritual life) are doing. That way, the eternal rings of friendship can grow until you no longer think about the struggles or difficulties present, but you bask in the shade that you have created, together.

Brings a new meaning to the phrase 'tree of life' huh? :)

NYT Article - "What Are Friends For? A Longer Life"
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/21/health/21well.html
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